Mike was thrilled to attend the Outdoor Sculpture Exhibition in Devonport with our sons. Tim handled the wheel-chair smoothly while Guy wielded his trusty Nikon.
All-important father-sons conversations were had, Meaning of Life questions explored, and the open air and sculptures enjoyed. Important stuff – three people determined not to be wishing in the future that they had said important things to each other.
A few days ago, Oncologist Dr Fong gently prepared us for when the chemotherapy treatments will not be as effective as they were previously.
After a minute’s reflection, we chose more Times to Make the Most of!
First up today is enjoying two little girls (one our grand-daughter) playing together in a friend’s garden. The happy shrieks of four year olds playing are our chosen pleasure-tonic!
I wonder, as you read this, if you too are ‘Making the Most of Now’ for a half day, an hour or a few minutes? if so, well done!
Making The Most of Now
‘Precious and brutal ‘ are two key words coming to this carer’s mind as Mike’s changing symptoms and resulting appointments demand urgent attention.
Four appointments at Radiology ‘over the bridge’ at Auckland hospital this week.
- Gratitude is the uppermost feeling as heart warming gifts of friendship and practical help are offered, including:
- My Food Bag – relieves the ‘what shall I cook tonight when no shopping done’
- Massages for Mike
- Encouragement for this blog and website
- Angels driving Mike to his many appointments
- Giggles from grandchildren Minna and Moe(see below)
- Oncology expertise and caring by Dr Fong and Dr Pearse and colleagues, pulling out all stops to ensure appropriate palliative care.
- Loving support of participants in the Hospice North Shore Carers’ Group
- The care and love of many
Thank you all so much – we love you!
Car parking arrangements for patients with cancer provide comedy and consternation: A sloping square patch of ground around a massive oak tree with a cliff at one end.
‘Will I miss the oak tree, the cliff and other desperate parkers today?’
Is this Distraction by Design?! It works!
Mike with his grandkids
Mike has been keen to swim again: to be in water and to enjoy the sun.How do you do that with a wobbly head and a challenged sense of balance? Our local beach is not tropical, nor always mill-pond calm.
Knowing chemotherapy needs extra care due to increased vulnerability to infection added to our dilemma.
The choice we made was for Mike to gently float in the sun at the Parnell outdoor salt water pools in Auckland. His grin says it all.
MAKING THE MOST OF NOW
This reinventors’ website has been almost untouched since the heart-warming launch of my book ‘And Now What?’ last May. A new unexpected event occurred which changed everything. Again.
My beloved husband Mike’s health rapidly deteriorated right on launch time. He was diagnosed as having metastatic prostate cancer, ie cancer which had spread beyond the prostate to his bones, especially his neck. Diagnosis, treatments and reviewing Life took our full attention.
And Now What? Chemotherapy treatments currently continue every three weeks and appear to be ‘holding’ the situation. We decided to make the most of now by creating regular heart-warming experiences we are drawn to.
This blog is about the questions that matter to us, the choices we explore and what works for us in this very common situation.
Small example: Mike rests often in a comfy chair supporting his neck, and he and I wondered ‘what would be attractive yet restful to see from the chair that is easy to create?’
After our conversations, I went to a nearby garden centre and chose purple and white flower plants like petunias and geraniums to complement the soft green lavenders, rosemary and basil already in the background of our very small garden. We love these colours. Mike planted lettuce and spinach plants. The result makes us smile. And we feel we have achieved something amidst so much change.Our creation took a half day and gives us great pleasure. We advise this for anyone who would enjoy assembling colour in their life without much effort!
Warm Good Wishes
Join the newsletter for sharings like these and other And What Now opportunities.
I’ve been thinking about ‘toomuchness’. How Life piles on until I get up at 5am to quietly sort, prioritise, write and often change my mind about something. The dawn chorus is my companionable ‘backing band’.
My day job feeds my passion for reinventors. My ‘beyond the day job’ is Reinventors – a resource agency for people enquiring after the unexpected happens or seeking new relevance.
My personal most recent unexpected life event is the serious illness of my husband, Mike.
Joy is sprinkled generously by our happy three year old grand-daughter, a weekly overnight guest.
Moving from working with volunteers, to taking book orders, to watching the sea with Mike to sowing radishes with our grand-daughter are my choices this week in ‘how to best live this full-on life’.
‘Toomuchness’ for me are the new things knocking on my door: website doo dackeys, book retail pricing and this, my first blog.
What is toomuchness for you? And how do you respond? I’d love to know.
firstname.lastname@example.org will reach me.
Re-inventors has emerged to respond well to people asking ‘And What Now?’
As Dr Murray Sheard commented ‘putting some wise pavement in front of people is so needed’.
RE-inventors’ first offering is the book, ‘And What Now?’ a companion when the unexpected happens by Ros Capper which she wrote following her own experience of the unexpected happening.
Her book was creatively launched in Devonport, Auckland in May by Baroness Sheila Hollins from London, UK. Roger White began with his song ‘Old life new skein’, Jo Emeney offered her poem ‘Humility’ and Jan Mason and Ros enjoyed making tangible links to the many contributors present using colour, wool and words. Michael Fleck and the re-inventors team kept everything gently on track. This made book-launching fun, heart-warming and full of animated conversations!
You can see a two minute video of our book launch here : And What Now? – Book launch video